Long awaited confessions of a movie critic

To the makers of the films I have bashed: I’m sorry. To the makers of the films I have praised: I’m sorry.

I have been writing reviews for TCR (F&M's College Reporter, for which many of these reviews were written) for nearly four years. I’ve applauded mediocre films and torn decent ones apart. I’ve let my expectations cloud my judgment, and artists that I enjoy have suffered when they failed to meet my vision of their potential.

I’ve got examples, too. In 2006, I gave Outcast’s “Idlewild” an A and Indigo Girl’s “Despite Our Differences” a C. Yet I haven’t touched Outcast since, and I still listen to several songs from “Despite Our Differences” on a regular basis. Both “Miracle at St. Anna” and “Confessions of a Shopaholic” have been circulating the 300 channels. Even though I raved about “Miracle at St. Anna” and sneered at “Confessions of a Shopaholic,” I haven’t rewatched the former, and I’ve watched the latter no less than 6 times since it has been on television and on demand.

The thing is, I’ve got different standards for different movies. I’ve got tastes that may or may not be satisfied (though, oddly enough, I’m far more likely to use grade inflation on a piece outside of my personal tastes), and if I expect nothing of a movie that turns out to be decent, it will get an A, whereas if I expect too much of a would-be decent movie, it will get a C or a D.

I’ve been wrestling with this bad karma for a couple of months. I’ve almost wanted to stop writing reviews, lest I screw another film over. For a while, I contented myself with the belief that no one reads my articles, but when a professor told me that she rethought seeing “Confessions of a Shopaholic” based on my review and a Tobey Maguire fan blog reposted comments from my review of “Brothers,” I had to rethink that theory as well.

So how do I justify writing the things I write? How do I justify giving a fluff comedy with a 17% rating on Rotten Tomatoes an A and, a week later, giving a Scorsese with a 65% Rotten Tomatoes rating a B (and a low B at that)?

First of all, I’ve decided that I judge movies by category. A decent romantic comedy will rate higher than a mediocre thriller, even if the thriller is an equal or better all around movie. I refuse to see anything wrong with this- after all, the Golden Globes do the same thing. It’s impossible to compare a movie that’s supposed to be fluffy fun to a movie that’s pushing for an Oscar. Who’s to say that the former should fail just because of its low-brow humor? If a comedy is really terrible, I’ll feel comfortable criticizing it, but I refuse to fail it just because it’s not “Titanic” or “Lord of the Rings” (though I will fail action films if they fail to live up to those standards).

Second of all, I see movies once before my reviews come out. I can’t help it. Albums, I have a little more leeway, but movies are expensive. Admission is anywhere from $8-10, plus popcorn and soda (without which, many of the movies I review would be unbearable). Add this to the fact that most movies come out on Fridays, and my reviews are due Sunday at the latest (thank you to my wonderful editors for putting up with my constantly late reviews). If I only see a movie once, I have to judge it based on my first impressions- not on its rewatch value. If I change my mind later, it’s too late to do anything about it.

I suppose the best (or worst) part of this scenario is that I plan on being a playwright/screenwriter post-graduation. Which means that someday, critics will be bashing my work. It’s tough to make a decent film, and to completely misquote Matt Scannell of Vertical Horizon, “Critics are people who can’t create their own art and need to tear down other people’s to make themselves feel better.” Well, after all of this, I still don’t feel better. Grade: D for effort. ☺