Fools Gold is essentially three different movies morphed into one film that may or may not please the audiences of each genre. Part gangster film, part romantic comedy, and part treasure-hunting adventure, it loses some entertainment value in all of the clutter.
The film follows Finn (Matthew McConaughey), an admittedly adorable treasure-hunting fool and his more intelligent but less adorable wife, Tess (Kate Hudson). According to the film, it would be more accurate to call Tess Finn’s ex-wife, but it’s very difficult to take a divorce seriously when the film makes it so clear from the very beginning that the couple is doing little more than taking a break for a hissy fit. There is very little mystery to the predictable romantic comedy.
The couple ends up together on Nigel Honeycutt’s (Donald Sutherland) yacht, and after one of the longest exposition scenes in action film history, the billionaire agrees to finance the two on a mission to find the lost treasure of the Aurelia, a ship that sunk in 1715 and apparently has been forgotten about by almost everyone. Almost, of course, does not include Finn and Tess, the treasure-hunters who taught Finn everything he knows, or the gangster-rappers hunting Finn for everything he has.
The film has its good moments. The opening scene is fairly well done with jumpy camera angles and a humorous set of captions about the Aurelia. In one scene, Nigel plays gin rummy with his Paris Hilton-esque daughter, Gemma (Alexis Dziena). For the first time in the movie, Gemma is charming and believable; the rest of the time, she serves little more purpose other than the beautiful idiot foil for Tess. Certain points in the treasure-hunt make the audience yearn to leave the film and go treasure hunting in the Caribbean (as opposed to leaving the film, period, which only happens once or twice). The acting is fine all around—nothing noteworthy, but all the leads are as good as can be expected.
Otherwise, the film loses in continuity and bad writing. Most of the jokes fall flat, and the ones that don’t were overplayed in the trailer. The exposition scene on the yacht is so slow and difficult to follow that the audience is likely to feel as intelligent as Gemma listening to it. The gangster-rappers are little more than annoying as villains, stealing focus from the slightly more interesting romantic comedy and treasure-hunting plotlines.
The movie is filled with so many gaping holes that it is surprising the ocean didn’t pour into the theater and drown the first few rows. If this treasure-filled ship was such a big deal, why are these jokers the only ones looking for it? True, they are following theories and ignoring fake leads, but it still makes little sense that not a single historian is after this treasure—why now, three hundred years later, and why Tess and Finn? This mystery is only second to the mystery of Gemma’s character—is she supposed to be an idiot or not? The film hints that she’s only pretending to be stupid to get attention, but after the gin rummy scene, she returns to her old ways and never really redeems herself.
Overall, the film is entertaining as a travel-logue and even occasionally as an action film, but rarely as a romantic comedy. Best to add the $9 to your own treasure-hunting fund, and pray you can be more careful with the equipment than Finn—or the writers.
Grade- C
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